Please shut the fuck up

I can't stand it when people say "Oh my God! I (missed my train/was late for work/spilled ketchup on my shirt etc.). This ALWAYS happens to me. That is SO the way my life goes. Why me? Oh why is my life so full of drama and negativity?"

Stop complaining. Your life is fine. Annoying shit happens to everyone. It doesn't just happen to you because there is some universal conspiracy designed to make your life cumbersome. Shut up and smile asshole.

Rant over.